I've never been all up on book "trends". I don't automatically see them talking about a book on The Talk and be like "OMGZ I need to read that!", I usually wait until they make it into a movie and then I think about reading it. I came across this book when I was going through my recommendations on Goodreads. I thought the title alone was hilarious, and immediately knew it had to be some kind of parody, and that is when I realized I needed to read this book. That is when I picked up Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by Fanny Merkin as my next literary adventure.
Fifty Shames is exactly what you think it is, a comedy parody of Fifty Shades, the nauseating "must read" all the girls seem to be into. I read most of Fifty Shades, it was okay. I also read the good parts online, it wasn't anything special. It didn't tug at my morality like The Hunger Games did, or make me bawl like a baby like Oprah's book club selections do. It was simply just trash, like reading a Star Magazine. Anyways enough of that, I chose this book simply because I wanted a good laugh and that is exactly what I got.
Fifty Shames tells the story of young, naive virginal Anna Steal. Anna is about to graduate from college, has an Asian guy friend who's into My Little Pony fan fiction, and an alcoholic, 30 something roommate who has a strange obsession with 16 & Pregnant. When her roommate is "sick" (hungover) and cannot perform an interview on the arrogant, self-loving, uber-rich tycoon Earl Grey, Anna fills in for her. She gives up studying for finals and rides her bike from Portland into Seattle to conduct this elusive and important interview. I know what you're thinking "ooo a chick that rides a motorcyle...hot and tough", I meant bike like bicycle. Yeah she doesn't know how to drive.
She bikes to Seattle (it took her 3 hours in case you were wondering) and she meets Mr. Grey. Of course she falls in love with him even though he's a complete jerk. After she finishes the interview she can't stop thinking about Grey and then he shows up at her job. As he goes through her tell at Wal Mart, he confesses his first of many 50 Shames to her, he is a Nickelback fan. Grey then takes her on a wild sexual adventure, introducing her to BDSM, which stands for Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick. It's a role playing game that involves swords, illusions, and spanking.
After several attempts at trying to deal with her feelings for Grey (i.e. escape his douchey weirdness) Anna learns she has become pregnant. All of this happened after having 2-7 sexual encounters max, and she can already feel the baby kicking. Just thought I'd mention that. As Anna is about to tell Grey about her "condition" he crashes the helicopter they are both in into The Space Needle. After waking up in the hospital, a la Kristen Stewart (bad acting and all) in Twilight she is checked out by Dr. Drew. Who shouldn't even be offering advice to those train-wrecks on MTV, let alone giving her medical attention, anyways he informs her that the baby is okay and she is released into the too long fingers of Grey.
He picks her up in Jeff Gordon's race car (they're all the same, it was a NASCAR), where they have a fight over Grey's urge for the need for speed. Which leads Anna to break up with him and go live with her father. Her Asian My Little Pony loving bff shows up and they attempt to be intimate. Don't worry though Grey shows up, she informs him of the baby and they live happily ever after. Oh and they had their baby which was born with fangs, which Grey than tells Anna they need to talk about something.
I actually found some of the things Earl did to Anna more disturbing than the things Christian was doing to Ana in the original. The book overall had a dark humor to it. It's definitely not for everyone, especially if you're still panting over the E.L. James novels, like that chick on The Bachelor. I feel like this would make a fantastic movie, which would be on the same level with The Scary Movie franchise. The original R rated ones by the Wayans brothers. And I personally think that Kathleen, the alcoholic Teen Mom loving roomie should be played by Rebel Wilson. I really can't wait for the sequel, I read a few pages of it already and they were in space and I think that's all I have to say.
If you're into humor novels and you can't stand you're sorority sister (who no one wanted to give a bid to anyways) talk about Fifty Shades anymore, start mixing in details from this little gem. It'll drive her nuts and she'll get so angry she'll probably disappear into her room to reread her "sacred holy books" and watch Sex & the City reruns on Style.
P.S. I bet she thinks she's a Samantha too eh? When all she is, is an even more lame and boring version of Charlotte.
Lots more books to review!
<3's Laterz
Fifty Shames is exactly what you think it is, a comedy parody of Fifty Shades, the nauseating "must read" all the girls seem to be into. I read most of Fifty Shades, it was okay. I also read the good parts online, it wasn't anything special. It didn't tug at my morality like The Hunger Games did, or make me bawl like a baby like Oprah's book club selections do. It was simply just trash, like reading a Star Magazine. Anyways enough of that, I chose this book simply because I wanted a good laugh and that is exactly what I got.
Fifty Shames tells the story of young, naive virginal Anna Steal. Anna is about to graduate from college, has an Asian guy friend who's into My Little Pony fan fiction, and an alcoholic, 30 something roommate who has a strange obsession with 16 & Pregnant. When her roommate is "sick" (hungover) and cannot perform an interview on the arrogant, self-loving, uber-rich tycoon Earl Grey, Anna fills in for her. She gives up studying for finals and rides her bike from Portland into Seattle to conduct this elusive and important interview. I know what you're thinking "ooo a chick that rides a motorcyle...hot and tough", I meant bike like bicycle. Yeah she doesn't know how to drive.
She bikes to Seattle (it took her 3 hours in case you were wondering) and she meets Mr. Grey. Of course she falls in love with him even though he's a complete jerk. After she finishes the interview she can't stop thinking about Grey and then he shows up at her job. As he goes through her tell at Wal Mart, he confesses his first of many 50 Shames to her, he is a Nickelback fan. Grey then takes her on a wild sexual adventure, introducing her to BDSM, which stands for Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick. It's a role playing game that involves swords, illusions, and spanking.
After several attempts at trying to deal with her feelings for Grey (i.e. escape his douchey weirdness) Anna learns she has become pregnant. All of this happened after having 2-7 sexual encounters max, and she can already feel the baby kicking. Just thought I'd mention that. As Anna is about to tell Grey about her "condition" he crashes the helicopter they are both in into The Space Needle. After waking up in the hospital, a la Kristen Stewart (bad acting and all) in Twilight she is checked out by Dr. Drew. Who shouldn't even be offering advice to those train-wrecks on MTV, let alone giving her medical attention, anyways he informs her that the baby is okay and she is released into the too long fingers of Grey.
He picks her up in Jeff Gordon's race car (they're all the same, it was a NASCAR), where they have a fight over Grey's urge for the need for speed. Which leads Anna to break up with him and go live with her father. Her Asian My Little Pony loving bff shows up and they attempt to be intimate. Don't worry though Grey shows up, she informs him of the baby and they live happily ever after. Oh and they had their baby which was born with fangs, which Grey than tells Anna they need to talk about something.
I actually found some of the things Earl did to Anna more disturbing than the things Christian was doing to Ana in the original. The book overall had a dark humor to it. It's definitely not for everyone, especially if you're still panting over the E.L. James novels, like that chick on The Bachelor. I feel like this would make a fantastic movie, which would be on the same level with The Scary Movie franchise. The original R rated ones by the Wayans brothers. And I personally think that Kathleen, the alcoholic Teen Mom loving roomie should be played by Rebel Wilson. I really can't wait for the sequel, I read a few pages of it already and they were in space and I think that's all I have to say.
If you're into humor novels and you can't stand you're sorority sister (who no one wanted to give a bid to anyways) talk about Fifty Shades anymore, start mixing in details from this little gem. It'll drive her nuts and she'll get so angry she'll probably disappear into her room to reread her "sacred holy books" and watch Sex & the City reruns on Style.
P.S. I bet she thinks she's a Samantha too eh? When all she is, is an even more lame and boring version of Charlotte.
Lots more books to review!
<3's Laterz
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